Life in the Akatsuki
by DaDonut
Summary: You and your best friend are part of the S-Rank criminal organization, the Akatsuki. Unlike what everyone thinks, the Akatsuki is actually more than just a group of baddies. It is like a giant family. Fill in blanks with personal information and enjoy the mayhem! Series of one-shots. (Not an Akatsuki X Reader) Rated T because of Hidan.


I wrote this with the reader being a girl in my mind, so I apologize for any awkwardness with boys… But please note that this is not a ReaderXAkatsuki FanFiction.

You can cook really well and are a badass S-Rank villain wielding twin katanas. Your nature affinity is fire. Deal with it.

Sasori is not yet fully puppet. He is in the process of making himself one, and only his right arm is wooden so far. So he still needs to eat and sleep!

Tobi is here while Sasori is still alive. GASP! This is because sorry, I love Sasori, and I also really like Tobi. Forgive me.

Contains swearing because of Hidan.

(name) = Your name

(bff name) = Best friend's name

(h/c) = Hair color

(e/c) = Eye color

(y/f/c) = Your favorite color

(bff/f/c) = Best friend's favorite color

...

"BEEP. BEEP. BE-" Your hand slammed down on the alarm clock beside your bed. Hard. You saw that is was 6:00 am in the morning. Then you promptly turned around and went back to sleep. Around an hour later, your best friend woke up by himself/herself because of his/her awesome inner alarm clock that you wished you had.

Then they promptly woke you up by throwing their pillow at you. "Ok, ok, (bff name)! I'm up! No need to throw anything else!" You mumbled as you sat up and stretched. "That's better. Last Tuesday I had to throw a table lamp at you. That sure woke you up" (Bff name) snickered.

Your (h/c) hair fell into your eyes as you brushed it off and swung your legs over the edge of the bed. After you put on the casual attire of the Akatsuki (Fishnet shirt and grey crop top, loose black pants, stockings with ninja sandals and of course the cloak). (bff name) came out of the bathroom after brushing his/her teeth.

"Why is it that I always have to use the bathroom AFTER you?" You whined. (Bff name) smirked. "That's because I always have to wake you up lazybones." They replied. You grumbled under your breath as you went to grab your toothbrush.

"HEY! Has anyone f#$%ing seen my left hand? Kakuzu you damn b $t rd I know you took it! I need my damn left hand to f#$%ing eat breakfast you know!" Hidan shouted while wandering the hallways.

You rolled your eyes as you dragged the toothbrush across your teeth. (Bff name) shouted out the door, "Can you be any louder Hidan? It is 7:00 am in the morning for gods sake!".

"Shut up (Bff name)! Can't you see that I'm f#$%ing looking for my left hand here?" Hidan whipped around and started complaining to (Bff name).

After making sure you had your twin katanas on your back under the cloak and the weapons pouch secured, you leisurely strolled out the door while smacking Hidan on the head. "OY! (Name) that f#$%ing hurt! Oh, by the way have you seen my left hand?"

You chuckled as you made your way to the dining room of the Akatsuki with (Bff name). Contrary to popular belief, the Akatsuki hideout is not like a pig sty. Actually, Konan threatened everybody to keep it clean otherwise everyone would suffer her wrath. You shuddered as you thought about what she could do.

Because of her dictation, the floor was clean, white marble, nobody ever littered, and there was good lighting inside. The hallway walls were clean grey and doors appeared every few meters. Each door was painted two different colors and had two names on them.

The red and yellow door was Sasori and Deidara's. The white and purple door was Hidan and Kakuzu's. The blue and black door was Kisame and Itachi's, and the orange and green door was Tobi and Zetsu's. Yours and (Bff name) door was (y/f/c) and (bff/f/c). All names were written in silver.

The hallway opened up at the end to a larger room which was the living room complete with three couches, a table and a wide TV. It could comfortably house all of the Akatsuki in case you guys wanted to have a meeting, gathering, or party, etc.

You grinned as you passed Kakuzu on the couch, counting his money, again. He murmured quietly to himself, "52, 53, 54, 55…". You shouted "32! 86! 21!" Kakuzu murmured, "57, 58, 21.. ARG (Name) HOW DARE YOU!"

You raced towards the kitchen just as Kakuzu stuffed his money into his brief case and started chasing you. A blur passed by the dining room, kitchen, and out the back door.

"I'll take that Kisame!"

"Hey (Name)-chan!"

"Need this!"

"Give that back un!"

"Ooh, thanks!"

"TOBI WANTS HIS LOLLIPOP BACK!"

By then, Kakuzu had already lost you. You ran across the training grounds, through the meadow and up your favorite tree into your favorite spot. You relaxed while biting into the chocolate croissant that you had snatched from Kisame. "Mmm… Sharkie really knows how to bake!"

Then you sniffed the water bottle that you stole from Deidara. "Orange juice! Fresh too. I wonder where he got the oranges.." You sipped some of it and sighed. "Not enough sugar. I'll tell him later."

After finishing your breakfast, you unwrapped the lollipop from Tobi and licked it. "Yum! I'll have to repay them later. Japanese hot pot it is! And dango afterwards." You grinned as you imagined the look on their faces when dinner was ready.

Only you, Kisame, and Deidara were decent cooks. The rest of the members couldn't be trusted with a microwave. You specialised in main courses and appetisers. Deidara liked to make soups, porridges, and tea. Kisame, weirdly enough, liked to bake and make desserts. But he can't beat you in traditional Japanese desserts though.

(Bff name) could do simple tasks like making rice, boiling noodles, and cutting, but not the complicated frying or mixing. And Tobi could make all kinds of beverages, including but not limited to: hot chocolate, lemonade, milkshakes, and cocktails.

You sighed contently while looking out at the private patch of forest and meadow that the Akatsuki had claimed for themselves. Itachi put a heavy genjutsu on it to prevent any wandering people from getting in.

The trees were big, and wide, ideal for hiding behind, and the meadow was perfect for large and far ranged jutsus. There was also a river beside the meadow for chakra control. Nearby the back door that lead to the Akatsuki hideout was the Akatsuki's personal garden.

Everybody took care of it, and in it were a few variety of vegetables, edible herbs, medical herbs, and a few fruit trees. Beside it was Zetsu's garden. He threatened to eat anybody that came close to it. Not that anybody wanted to, anyway.

Keeping the lollipop in your mouth, you leisurely stretched, scratched your cheek, and closed your eyes. You heard a soft thud above you, and without opening your eyes, you mumbled, "Morning, Sasori."

The redhead settled himself comfortably on the branch above you. "The brat is mad at you for stealing his orange juice. He said he worked really hard to make it." You snorted and opened one eye. "Well, you can tell him that I'm making a really awesome dinner for him so he doesn't have to stay mad at me."

Sasori leaned back onto the branches. "Then I don't think Deidara will stay mad at you for very long. Kisame and Tobi too." You hummed in agreement, smiling wryly as you recalled the first time Deidara and Kisame had eaten your signature B.L.T sandwiches.

Deidara had actually moaned at the taste and Kisame inhaled the rest of the sandwich. Then they fought over the last one while Tobi stole it and then proceeded to shove it into his mouth while running away from two seething S-ranked ninjas. Poor Tobi had to hide for the rest of the day to avoid getting a beating.

"Any upcoming missions?" you asked Sasori. Sasori shook his head. "We're laying low for the moment." You hung upside down from the branch. "I'm so booooreeeed." You groaned. Then your face lit up. You swung up and landed gracefully on the branch beside Sasori.

"What about we spar? (Bff name) and I versus you and Dei! It will be a friendly spar. I haven't had a chance to fight in weeks! Please?" Sasori pondered over this for a moment, then nodded. "Meadow in ten minutes. I need to get the brat."

You grinned, and together you two strolled down the tree and into the kitchen. Deidara, upon seeing you, rushed up and demanded something in return. You grinned and simply said, "I'm making dinner." He whooped and went to tell Kisame. Walking into the dining room, you saw (Bff name) arguing with Tobi over who got the last chocolate croissant.

"Hey, (Bff name). We're gonna spar with Sasori and Dei. Outside in the training field in 10 minutes kay?" you said. He/she nodded distractedly but you knew that they remembered. Going inside your room, you fastened four syringes of antidote to Sasori's poison to your waist belt. You made sure that you had all the weapons and bandages in your pouch that you always wore around your waist.

After relieving yourself in the bathroom, you then proceeded to sharpen your twin katanas. It was a practiced, robotic motion that helped soothe your nerves. 10 minutes quickly turned to 1, and you walked out the door after giving 1000 yen to Kakuzu to appease him. Sasori was already there armoured in Hiruko, and he glanced at you to acknowledge you.

(Bff name) then rushed out while stuffing the last bit of chocolate croissant into their mouth. Deidara followed. Everyone took their places beside the lake. Your nature affinity was fire and (Bff name)'s nature affinity was water. It was contradicting but you two were the perfect team because of knowing each other so well.

You two were both 19 when you joined the Akatsuki after proving yourselves. You defected from Konohagakure at the age of 12 and (Bff name) defected from Kirigakure at the age of 13. You two had met each other coincidently in the woods when you were both 14 and decided to work together because both of you craved company.

Throughout the years you two had roamed the known shinobi world, offering services of assassination, information gathering, and whatever a shinobi does for a reasonable amount of money. While doing this, you honed your skills and became feared and infamous S-rank criminals.

The Akatsuki had sought both of you out, because which super villain group does not want a pair of certified S-ranked criminals? It was a good deal for both of you, because in return for becoming one of its members, you get food, shelter, and money if you complete the missions. It didn't hurt that the hideout was pretty high class too.

Deidara and Sasori were about 20 meters parallel to you, not moving. You studied them and you knew that (Bff name) was doing the same. Deciding to take the lead, you threw a two kunai with exploding tags attached to them.

Obviously they dodged easily, but you smiled as you saw (Bff name) appear behind Deidara in the smoke with his/her impressive speed swinging his/her giant battle-axe. It hit Deidara which disappeared with a 'poof' signalling it was a clone.

Sasori was sitting inside Hiruko and when you rushed at him he raised his scorpion tail to deflect the blows from your twin katanas. You darted back and fro as you sliced viciously but Sasori always found a way to deflect your blows with his scorpion tail. You hissed as the tail suddenly whipped behind you and cut you on the arm.

Grabbing the first syringe quickly you slid the needle into your arm and pressed, knowing the antidote was coursing through your bloodstream and already countering the poison. You then flung three shuriken at him and when he raised his tail to deflect them, they suddenly curved around and managed to scrape the sides of the wood.

You had attached thin, almost invisible chakra strings to all three of them and while he was occupied in the front, you charged at him and backflipped gracefully above his back and gave one, long, clean slice at the wood where you knew there was an opening. Not damaging Hiruko but opening him and getting Sasori out.

Meanwhile, not 10 meters across you and Sasori, Deidara and (Bff name) were also locked in a vicious battle. Deidara had made his clay bird and was circling around in the air while throwing small bombs down at (Bff name). (Bff name) dodged and darted between the explosions and smoke and leapt up a tree, and hid, his/her hands a blur as they expertly wove a genjutsu and placed it on Deidara.

Deidara smirked, hands already out to release his beloved bombs. He was then surprised when he saw (Bff name) jump out of the tree, straight at him. The (Bff name) he knew was more cautious but discovered just in time that it was a genjutsu. He dodged to avoid getting blown off his bird by the two water dragons with (Bff name) riding them.

He grinned as he saw the small burns against his/her arms. So his bombs had some effect after all. (Bff name) charged forward with his/her water dragons and Deidara threw an explosion to both of their faces. The water dragons splashed away and (Bff name) was left standing on his bird.

He did a sharp left jab to (Bff name)'s neck, only to have it blocked and a roundhouse kick to his right. He blocked that too, but didn't anticipate his/her giant battle-axe coming from the other side and had to leap up to avoid both of them. This was exactly what (Bff name) wanted as he/she smashed the battle-axe onto the birds head, charging it with electricity.

The bird exploded into fine powder and Deidara was plummeting quickly to the ground. Thinking fast, he did an earth jutsu. It worked as the soil came up to meet him and absorbed his impact while dragging him safely below underground.

Meanwhile, you quickly darted to safety in the branches of a nearby tree and watched as Sasori slowly got out of Hiruko and stepped out. As soon as both his feet were out of Hiruko, you jumped down and threw a kunai with an exploding tag attached to it. Sasori dodged and it exploded, leaving behind a lot of smoke.

Using the smoke as a cover, you made a clone which darted behind him and stuck an exploding tag onto his back. The clone then kicked Hiruko away in case Sasori managed to control him again. You hid in the trees and held your breath as the tag on Sasori's back exploded, shrouding him with smoke.

Your clone jumped back and appeared to be studying Sasori when suddenly a figure burst out of the smoke straight at the clone. It was a puppet with two swords as arms. As you watched, the puppet charged at your clone, then swung with its two arms.

The clone blocked and parried, more on the defence because of being caught out of surprise. Another puppet burst out of the smoke to join the first one, and you can see that even though your swordsman ship was better than Sasori's, your clone was being overwhelmed.

Deciding to take action, you snuck behind the smoke ball and threw a shuriken at at where you assumed Sasori was. Unfortunately the puppet master had fast reflexes and blocked the shuriken with one puppet while dispelling the smoke with another. His head whipped around to where you were hidden and instantly one puppet came shooting forward to you.

You sprang out, revealing yourself, and another puppet shot dozens of poison needles towards you while you were still in the air. Cursing, your hands quickly wove a jutsu and a giant fireball went sailing at the needles, melting them and continuing on towards Sasori and his puppets.

Somehow, a few still hit your arm and you tried to stabilise yourself as you neared the ground. A loud CRACK issued and you winced as you felt a searing pain up your left leg. Forcing yourself to stagger and collapsing behind the nearest tree, you used the second syringe of antidote to the poison. You then gingerly felt your leg with medical chakra.

You were expecting a dislocation or a twisted ankle, but you sharply inhaled as you came across a twisted ankle and a fracture in your calf. You concentrated your chakra as you healed the fracture best you could and was about to move on to the twisted ankle when suddenly a knife imbedded itself where your head was a second ago.

Alarmed, you spun around to see the same puppet with both of its arm-knives out, but with a half melted face. It opened its mouth, preparing to shoot fire, but you grabbed a rock and shoved it into the pipe. Then you dove out of the way as the puppet exploded from the inside.

You managed to avoid most of the explosion but landed awkwardly on only one foot. You hopped into a tree and sat down to heal the twisted ankle as quickly as you can. Unfortunately for you, Sasori was seething that you had managed to destroy one of his most prized puppets.

Meanwhile, the other fight had moved more across the meadow and now was nearby the lake. Deidara had surprised (Bff name) by bursting out of the ground with a giant centipede and had sent dirt flying everywhere. Using that as a cover while (Bff name) was still distracted, Deidara had made several clay bombs that clung (Bff name)'s shirt. (Bff name) had felt them, and brushed off most of them except for one.

There was a shout of "KATSU!" and a scream. Part of (Bff name)'s shirt had been blown off, reducing it to tatters, and there was a bloody and raw hole underneath their stomach. It was bleeding profusely and (Bff name) struggled to stand up. He/she knew some basic medical jutsu but usually it was you who did all the complex healing in the pair.

The wound definitely needed complex healing. (Bff name) managed to stem the bleeding but could not stop the tears from springing to his/her eyes. He/she saw Deidara scuttling around on the giant centipede in front and with a guilty smile. (Bff name) smiled reassuringly then did his/her signature water faucet jutsu, the same one that nearly drowned Itachi when they first met and submerged entire villages. But thats a story for another time.

The water bent to his/her control and became basically a flexible high-pressure water geyser. Heading straight towards Deidara. Poor Deidara had no way to avoid this as he was washed off the centipede and smashed through a few trees. When the water finally went away, he lay, a mangled mess on the ground. (Bff name) was pretty sure arms were not supposed to bend that way.

Meanwhile, Sasori was raging and you were panicking. The twisted ankle was less swollen but you still could not run. A poisonous coil whipped towards you and you had no choice but to jump out of the tree and hit the meadow running, or more like hopping. (e/c) eyes darted around to see that the other fight had ended. You skidded to a stop as an idea hit you.

Turning around to face Sasori, you waited calmly as he thundered towards you with one of his puppets. No weapons in your hands, no jutsu prepared. When he was half a meter from you, you did a handstand and whipped your right leg while charging chakra into it right into Sasori's face. He blocked it with the puppet, but you heard it crack.

You launched yourself over Sasori yet again, whipped out one katana, and promptly sliced off Sasori's right arm. You hopped away and landed on one foot, steadying yourself with your hand. You looked up to see Sasori unmoving. His whole posture then sagged and he sighed.

"Did you know that is the third time I had to replace this arm in five days?" He picked up his right arm and trudged back to Hiruko's open shell. You grinned from ear to ear. "Does that mean the spar ends in a draw, Sori-kun?" you asked. Sasori didn't say anything, just went over to fetch Deidara.

Itachi had been quietly observing the fight from a distance. He came over and wordlessly picked up Hiruko while Sasori nudged Deidara with his foot. Deidara groaned. "(Bff name), did you have to smash me through three trees? Why not just one?" (Bff name) grinned sheepishly despite the pain you knew they were experiencing.

You limped over to (Bff name) and snapped, "Let me have a look at that." (Bff name) gingerly lifted up the hem of their shirt and you grimaced. "Looks pretty bad. Good job on stopping the bleeding though." The familiar green glow enveloped your hand as you skimmed your fingers over the red.

(Bff name) sighed quietly as you soothed the pain and muttered thanks. You then whipped out a roll of bandage that you always kept in your pack and wrapped it around their waist. A dark red splotch showed through. "That's all I could do for now with this chakra level. Kakuzu will have to do the rest later."

Deidara had gotten up with a bit of help from Sasori. Both his arms hung limply and you could tell from years of training that they were broken. You limped over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and you brushed glowing green hands over both of his arms to numb the pain. He smiled. "Thank you (Name)-chan. You're the best."

You smiled back as (Bff name) supported you back to the base.

(0/./0) (0/./0) (0/./0) (0/./0) TIME SKIP (0/./0) (0/./0) (0/./0) (0/./0) (0/./0) (0/./0)

After being fussed over by Kakuzu, you walked back to the living room, all wounds healed. You shed your cloak and draped it onto your designated chair at the dining table. As you walked into the kitchen, you came upon Deidara rummaging through the fridge, looking from something to cook up.

"Hey Dei, do we have any pasta left? Tomatoes? Beef?" You mumbled as you rifled through the cabinets. Deidara replied, "There's a box behind the peanut butter, a few tomatoes left in the garden, and I think there is some ground beef in the ice box. Great idea, pasta!"

You took out said pasta box and started to heat up the water. (Bff name) hurried outside to pick the best looking tomatoes and herbs. Deidara took out the ground beef and dropped it in the sink to defrost. You peeled a clove of garlic and chopped it into small pieces, then started to heat up the pan for making the sauce.

You dropped a piece of butter into the pan just as the water started boiling. As you spread the butter, Deidara dumped the whole box of pasta into the pot, stirred it a couple times, and put the lid on. (Bff name) scurried back from the garden with a bundle of tomatoes in their arms. "Sorry, these were the best I could find. It's just after tomato season I think."

They were not the best looking tomatoes, you thought, but they'll do. You began frying the garlic, and the smell attracted Tobi to the kitchen. "That smells good (Name)-chan! Pasta!" You picked the five biggest tomatoes, washed them, plucked the leaves off and peeled them. While chopping the tomatoes into smaller pieces, you said to Tobi, "Hey Tobi, can you be a good boy and make some lemonade to go with the pasta?"

Tobi immediately perked up and said, "Tobi will be a good boy and make lemonade to go with the pasta!" He ran outside and began gathering lemons from the garden. (Yes, the Akatsuki has a lemon tree. Along with a apple tree, a cherry blossom tree, and a raspberry bush.) The beef by that time had already defrosted enough so that it could be moulded.

You slid the tomatoes into the pan and added two sprigs of thyme, two bunches of rosemary and a pinch of salt. As you stirred it, Tobi randomly grabbed things from the cabinets and drawers to make the lemonade. You didn't see how a sifter or cocoa powder would help with making lemonade, but the lemonade always turned out delicious in the end.

Deidara added salt and pepper to the ground beef, along with a handful of chopped parsley and an egg. After mixing them all together, he started moulding meatballs with his hands. Years of practice in making clay sculptures made perfectly round meatballs, and he settled them all on a plate. (Don't worry! The mouths are firmly closed. He made sure of that.)

(Bff name) hurried into the kitchen just as the water starting boiling over and opened the lid of the pot. He/she then scooped up all the pasta noodles, strained them, and separated them into even portions, with the exception of Kisame. He got double portion.

Deidara, having finished the meatballs quickly, started frying them with some oil over them while humming. The smell of frying meat spread all the way to the dining room and living room, and attracted some of the other members over. Kisame drifted over and stuck his head into the kitchen. "Mmmm! That smells really good guys! Keep up the good work."

You fished out the herbs, chopped them up, and put them back in. With a little more bit of stirring, you poured all the freshly made sauce evenly onto each plate of noodles. (Bff name) followed behind, topping each with a fresh sprig of mint. Deidara had turned off the fire and set the meatballs to cool slightly in the pan.

Kisame's wandering hand came stealthily in but you slapped it away while wiggling a finger in front while saying, "Ah ah ah! Don't want the meatballs being gone before they get to the table." Kisame pouted, "Please? Just one (Name)-chan? Just one?" You firmly shook your head and shooed him out into the dining room. He shuffled with his head down into his chair.

Deidara placed two meatballs in every plate, making sure to put four in Kisame's. He put three in your plate, his, (Bff name)'s, and after some thinking, Tobi. After all, he had made the lemonade, and was carrying two jugs of it to the dining room. He dumped 2 meatballs onto Zetsu's large plate in the corner, shuddering at the unidentifiable limb.

You had already put the tomato peels and leaves onto the plate, and Tobi, the lemon skin. Zetsu ate anything that was edible. Literally. (Including human flesh, so don't provoke him!) So nobody had to worry about wasting food. Zetsu was like the Akatsuki personal trashcan that they didn't have to throw out.

You carried two plates on your hands and balanced a third and a fourth on your elbows. Years of practice let you not drop them. (Bff name) came out with two, and so did Deidara. As you went back for the last two plates, Tobi happily pranced around, putting out cups for everyone. Deidara hollered, "LUNCH IS READY UN".

Itachi silently drifted from the living room and settled into his chair, his mouth twitching upwards at the smell. Hidan came limping in complaining about how his left foot was now missing and that he needed it to walk. Kakuzu followed behind his partner, rolling his eyes with yet another bag of money in his hands.

Sasori walked in while tightening his arm with a mini screwdriver. After he settled into his chair, he slipped it into his waist pouch. "I will not regret turning myself into a puppet. But I will regret not being able to eat such delicious food anymore." he stated. A round of laughter went around the table.

Because there were so many people, Kakuzu didn't bother to buy a big rectangular table, and bought a medium circular table instead. It was good for the Akatsuki, because everyone could gather around it, and good for him, because it was less expensive. Starting with you and going clockwise, it was (Bff name), Sasori, Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Tobi. There were two blank spots for Konan and Pein, but they rarely showed themselves.

Kisame whooped as you set out his plate before him, and you put your own plate on your designated spot. A soft murmur of "Itadakimasu" went around before everyone dug into their plates. Kisame grinned as he shoved the food into his mouth. You hummed contently before telling Deidara "Go easy on the parsley next time, and there isn't enough salt. Otherwise, you did really well!" Deidara grinned wholeheartedly.

(Bff name) said "Tobi, this lemonade is pretty good! Although how did the sifter help?" Tobi said enthusiastically, "Tobi is glad (Bff name)-senpai noticed! But it is Tobi's secret!" Deidara snorted. Sasori, Itachi, and Kakuzu were always the quiet ones in the bunch. Right now, they were silently sipping the lemonade and enjoying the noodles.

Like always, the food before Tobi was gone in a flash. "DAMN IT" Deidara and you said at the same time. "I don't get how he does that." you exclaimed to Deidara. "Me neither! Looks like he's got some tricks." Deidara exclaimed back. "Itachi? Did you catch that? You know, with your Sharingan?" you eagerly asked Itachi, as Tobi strolled into the kitchen.

Itachi was silent. "WHAAAT? Even the f#$%ing famed Sharingan can't catch him eating?" Hidan roared with laughter as he banged his fists on the table. Itachi glared at Hidan, but kept silent. Deidara and Kisame joined into the laughter, and (Bff name) and you could barely stifle your chuckles.

As he was putting the dishes into the sink, Tobi just said in his happy voice, "That is also Tobi's secret! Itachi-senpai's Sharingan is powerful but Tobi has tricks!" He then giggled. Sasori sighed, and just shook his head. "Itachi is not to be underestimated. He can trap you with just a look. Deidara, you of all people should know."

Deidara's expression dampened almost immediately. (Bff name) whined quietly "Sasori-san! Don't remind him of that…" Deidara slumped forward, his hair shadowing his face as he slowly ate his pasta. Hidan and Kisame stopped guffawing, and a gloomy atmosphere settled over the table. Even Tobi kept quiet at this. He shuffled and fidgeted in his seat.

"Aw, c'mon guys! That was like, years ago! Let's just enjoy the moment right now kay?" You chided. You guys ate quietly for the next few minutes as a slightly awkward silence hung over the table. Kakuzu was the first to finish, putting his plate into the kitchen and going off to do god Pein knows what.

Hidan shouted to him "Hey gramps! Leader wants to see us later. Something about retrieving a f^&*ing old antique object and selling it for a f&*%ing good price. Should be your area of expertise, considering how much of a f*&$ing miser you are."

Kakuzu scoffed, and just tossed Hidan's foot back at him. In an instant, (Bff name) smacked it aside with a frying pan that he/she got from the kitchen with his/her speed. Blood splattered across the floor where it landed, all the while Hidan cursed. "Well, we wouldn't want blood in our pasta now would we?" (Bff name) explained, returning the pan to its proper place, not a drop of blood on it, and calmly sat down and continued eating.

Deidara gave a halfhearted grin, then went back eating his pasta quietly. The next to finish was Kisame, surprisingly, considering that he had double portion. But then again, he only got double portion because of his enormous size and appetite.

Kisame sat back with a satisfied grin, while saying "That really hit the spot. Who's making dinner?" Deidara snorted, and muttered, "Trust fishy to think about dinner when he just finished lunch…" Kisame smacked Deidara on the back of his head, nearly making Deidara spit his mouthful of pasta out.

Hidan guffawed as Deidara then choked on some pasta. Sasori thumped Deidara on the back and that seemed to help. "T-thanks. *Cough* danna." He managed to say between coughs. Tobi giggled, and Deidara glared at him.

You swallowed a mouthful of pasta then began "Because you guys kindly made my breakfast this morning.." Kisame muttered "More like stole it…" You ignored him and continued "I'm making dinner tonight. Hot pot and dango afterwards sound ok with you?"

At this Deidara fist pumped the air "Yes. Bakudan? Please?" He whined. "Sure sure… and shrimp and crab if you can catch me some" You smirked challengingly at Kisame, knowing that he would accept, seeing as shrimp and crab were his favorite foods. Kisame gave a wide, toothy grin that would send most ninja running but you were used to and said, "You're on, kitten. How much do you want and when do you want it?"

You grinned and replied "Enough for everyone here, and double portion for you. I think I will start preparing dinner at 5:45 pm." Kisame nodded "Easy." Smirking, you added "And no water jutsu allowed." At this, Kisame groaned and left the table, muttering something about how tedious it was to catch them and how the crab pinched him every time. Sasori finished eating next, and after he put away the dishes, left the table without a word.

Hidan then finished eating, and scooped up his foot "Thanks (Name). That will probably be the only f%$ ing decent meal I will eat for f #$ing days. Stupid f# $ing missions…" He limped away muttering about how the heathens will pay for this, and that he needed to get a raise. You thought that Kakuzu was rubbing off him a little.

"Ah, I just remembered that I needed to get more clay." Deidara drained his lemonade and took the dishes, cups, and cutlery left behind to the sink. "Who's got dish duty? I think it was Tobi or Itachi right?" Itachi got up quietly and murmured "Tobi." And put his dishes away. Tobi was a bit surprised, then stuttered "W-wait, what? But Itachi-senpai! Tobi did the dishes yesterday!"

Itachi merely smirked and said "But Tobi will be a good boy right?" Tobi perked up again "Will Itachi-senpai call Tobi a good boy if Tobi washes the dishes?" he asked eagerly. Itachi merely nodded "Yay! Itachi-senpai will call Tobi a good boy!" You chuckled quietly while standing up and taking (Bff name)'s dishes and yours away. "Thank you Tobi. You are a good boy."

Although the mask covered his face, you could guess that he was beaming. You saw him scurry into the kitchen, and heard the sound of the water running. (Bff name) stretched in their chair and leaned forward. "Alright. Lunch over. What now? No missions, we just trained this morning, and we just cooked. I suppose we could start preparing for dinner, but its too early for that. I'm gonna be bored. You're gonna be bored. What do we do?" he/she ranted.

You grabbed the rag from the kitchen and was surprised to see Tobi already halfway done with the dishes. As you wiped the table, you considered what you could do in the afternoon, and suggested a few ideas to (Bff name).

"Weapons cleanup? I mean all of our stuff got a bit dusty and we probably won't have another mission for weeks…."

"Nah, it'll be fine. The mission is always told to us the day before anyways."

"More training?"

"Kakuzu told— no, threatened us that we should not train more lest we reopen our wounds and then he will unleash his unholy fury-"

"I get it. He shows that he cares through his threats. Or it's just because we are using up too many medical supplies. Maybe reading the scrolls that we stole? I bet we could learn some new jutsu."

"Too lazy to practice them. Besides, we are still kind of low on chakra."

"Then what? Play games with Tobi?"

Hearing his name and the word 'games' used in the same sentence, Tobi immediately perked up and looked around to you. "Games? (Name)-senpai, that is a great idea! Tobi knows lots of games we can play together!" You gently elbowed Tobi aside and washed the rag. (Bff name) raised an eyebrow and asked "What kind of games Tobi? Peekaboo? Hide and seek? I dunno, hopscotch?"

As you hung up the rag, Tobi happily chirped "Deadly hide and seek! We go to the forest, and one person get to be the seeker. The seeker counts to 10, while the rest of the people hide. You don't count as found, unless the seekers tag the real you, so clones don't count. You can use any jutsu as long as you are not tagged. When a person gets tagged, they become seeker too!"

(Bff name) contemplated this for a moment, and said "Thats actually a pretty good idea, although we might reopen our wounds and Kakuzu-" You interrupted them and said "But Kakuzu will be on a mission right? He won't have to know…" You and (Bff name) wore identical grins as you said this, and they replied "Yeah… by the time he comes back, we will be fully healed… and nobody has to tell him what happened…"

Tobi finished the last dish, and chirped happily. "Its decided then! We will meet in the forest at 3:00 o'clock! Tobi will gather everyone, don't worry!" A glance at the kitchen clock told you that it was already 2:15. "I'm not sure if everyone will actually want to play… Tobi?" You started, and looked around to find that he was gone. "Oh well, I'm sure he will manage to gather everyone. He always does." (Bff name) assured you.

You shrugged and decided that meditating in your room would be good. (Bff name) followed you into your room, tossed their weapons pouch and cloak onto a chair, and almost immediately, he/she was sprawled out on their bed, on top of their blanket, snoring lightly. You sat down on your bed, inhaled deeply, then exhaled, pushing all thoughts away from your mind. You closed your eyes, and continued this process.

You had no idea how much time had passed, but your meditation was interrupted by a bang of the door opening. Not caring who it was, you flashed up to that person and held one of your katanas by their neck. The person stayed silent, until they started convulsing. At least you thought they were, until you heard the wheezing laughter that accompanied it.


End file.
